Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Style: Lesson 5

When I write, I not only want my readers to be familiar, but if not, then I want them to learn something new by reading my material. I think that's important and adds some spice to it. If you had to choose between reading a book that you had already read over three times, so now it had become easy for you to understand and read, or read something that not only was new to you, but sparked your interest, which one would you choose? Easy or compelling? Now, sometimes, I would have to say that I would just go for easy, depending on the day and how I was doing. But, most of the time, I want to read something new; something that sparks my interests and gives me a developed understanding on that topic.

I agree with Williams when he states that keeping your topic short and concise is important. Who wants to read a sentence with five different topics in it which vary and end up half way down the page, asking yourself "what in the hell did I just read?!" Not only is that frustrating, but it is not exciting to read and for me, it does not keep me interested in the text; two things which I find important when writing (Exciting and interesting for the reader).

I particularly enjoyed reading the section of how important it is to begin one's writing with a powerful sentence and change your paragraphs with developed and cohesive transitions. Without these two things, your paper or book may seem choppy and hard for the reader to follow. These two things have often been my problem in writing. And because your readers want to get to the subject quickly so they can develop a sense of understanding the passage as a whole, it is important to commence with your subject, or at least make "it" recognizable as quickly as you can for your readers.
Style: Lesson 4

In the beginning of this lesson, Williams developes the point that "most readers want characters as their subjects and not only that, but they want their subjects to be clear and precise." But what about when your readers, for instance, are trying to solve a mystery or are trying to figure out who you are talking to, and through the story, just learning about the character instead of beginning with a concrete, understood one. You see? For instance, in class just yesterday, one of my classmates was told to keep the subject unclear, not giving a name or a label actually; at least until the end of the first couple of paragraphs. I believe, that that way, it keeps your reader more intrigued and wanting to read on, with hopes in finding out who the character is.

It's followed by the importance of the development of the character and how the connection between that specific character and the reader is extremely important. It's important for the author to find a common interest with his readers, to find something they can react to and maybe say as they're reading, "I understand her worry" or "How can she feel that way?"Often times by making this connection, the readers and the main character of the story find a relationship, and generally the reader may develope pity or happiness for the character. I feel that when I write, that is important because it draws your reader's attention more into the story and what point(s) may be behind it.

I was told in middle school to keep all of your action verbs the same tense, as not to "confuse" the reader. But now, because I have learned more and my writing has developed, I find it more interesting to change the tenses. I believe that it gives more excitement to the reader and makes them pay closer attention as to what's going on in your story.

When Williams mentioned on keeping your focus on one or two characters only, I agreed. I cannot stand books with ten different characters, each their own stories. It tends to get confusing and often boring at the same time for the reader. It seems that right when you learn and feel a connection beginning with the first character, by the third one you really don't even care and you forget about the previous ones!

Monday, March 20, 2006

I'm a young, female, college student. I have the best friends and family anyone could ever ask for, but I still feel that something is missing in my life. What is it, any ideas? I am not sure. I look into the mirror and am just blah. I do not know if I am happy with what my reflection shows back to me or not. I am unsure about who I want to be or what I want to do with my life down the road.
I am heavily influenced, but am one of the strongest, independent women I know. I care about my own thoughts, but sometimes, I care about what others think of me more than what I think about myself. I see pretty girls and question myself. I don't know what to do to "fix" myself. Am I insecure, I don't think so. I am not intimidated, but sometimes feel uncomfortable if I do not look "good". No, that's not the word. I don't know really. I do not get up in the morning and ask myself what I am going to wear and if it will impress others, but usually just wear what is comfortable to me. Is that wrong? Should I dress up more? But then I wouldn't be being myself really you know?
I sometimes ask myself, "what if". What if I was blonde and tall...you know, "model worthy". Then what would my life be like? Would it really be THAT much different? I don't know what else to write besides the fact that we, as women in society today, should not change ourselves for others. The most important thing is to be you, and remain true to yourself. This means that it may not make that boy of your dreams fall head over heels, or you won't be able to buy that size 2 pair of jeans that everyone has, but it will bring you more happiness than anything else. Just think, if the boy of your dreams only likes you for your looks, he's really not worth your time anyways. If you did get those jeans that everyone else has, then you'd be like everyone else who has them, and who wants to do that? Be different, be happy, be YOU.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

God’s Blessing

Poetry is something
That helps me heal my thoughts
I never thought I had it in me
But God was the one I sought

To stay always strong
And live lasting bravely
But now I know for sure
That it can’t just be maybe

It has to be a yes
For I know that’s for the best
Even though it’ll be a road hard traveled
I’ll never let go of God’s words that were babbled

At first I didn’t listen
I was not brave enough
But to me right now
It’s no longer tough

So I want to thank you now
For all you have given
And letting me be me
Enjoyed my life living

For experiences are memories
And memories are such
So god bless you father
I’m healed because of your touch

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


It's not something that makes us all cheery and happy, it's not something that we "look foward" to experiencing. But it is something we learn from. It's something we all have to go through.

I know you're probably thinking, why is she talking about this? Well, I'll tell you. One of my best friend's dad, just passed this morning. I haven't seen his father in a while, but was lucky enough to see my friend, Ross, over our last break. Ross is one of those guys who is strong, doesn't like to break down, but when he does, even if you didn't know him, you know how serious it is and it makes you want to just never let go of him. He has been a good friend of mine for almost four years now. I met him through my ex-boyfriend, all of us hung out ALL the time. His father had been struggling brain cancer for a while now, and it was a surprise to everyone that he had made it this far. It's funny how right when you think your life is getting back to being somewhat normal, something like this comes along and just washes away all of your hopes.

I've been so tired this past week, that I thought it would be hard to cry, but I was corrected. When my ex-boyfriend called, they fell from my eyes like a waterfall. It really makes you think. What would you do if you were in my friend Ross's shoes? How would you feel? Have you felt that way? ( and if you have, then I'm deeply sorry). It was hard enough on me loosing my grandfather, so I can only imagine my life with out my dad, my best friend, the "man" in my life. It scares me to even think about it you know? But there comes a point where there's nothing you can really do besides enjoy the company you are in now and to live each moment as if it were the last.
Sorry I haven't written in a while

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, but hopefully, not only will the following little story make up for some of my missed blogs, but also bring some light to everyone. As some may know, and others may not, this past saturday, I was involved in a four car pile up on 95 N heading home.

It was the most beautiful day we've had here in a while and I was on the road listening to some of my favorite country toones. I mean, who can go wrong with Tim McGraw? Anyways. A few cars ahead of me started breaking, so I reacted and started to tap on my breaks. The "tap" was not enough. Less than a second later, I found myself slamming on my breaks, with hopes in dodging the car infront of me. My hopes were crushed when I heard the music being overwhelmed by the cars' screeching breaks. My small hands have never gripped the wheel so hard, my knuckles bare white. The music stopped. My heart felt like it was in my lap. Horns have never been louder, yet I could hear absolutely nothing besides my own deep breathing.

The car behind me had been following too close, so when I tried to break and miss the car infront of me, he slammed into the back end of my four runner, going a predicted 75 mph, causing me to spin and end up in the middle of 95 facing traffic. A police officer came about two minutes later, in hopes to direct traffic and help me get my car out of the middle lane. Another gentleman pulled over to see if everyone was okay. When he asked me, I could barely even comprehend him enough to answer.

I reversed my car, allowing my ears to hear that my exhaust pipe had been lowered and was dragging right behind my back right tire. Two seconds later, the first police officer on the scene, put the right back end of my truck, in my trunk. I sat there, no tears, no words, no thought; just that I wanted to get home. The one person I wanted was out of town; my dad. It was a near hour or so later, after the exchange of information and the statements, that the tow truck lifted my four runner and I got in his car. On our way to the garage we went.

He dropped me off across the street, where I was to wait for about an hour by myself, for my sister to come and get me. That's when it hit me. I started bawling. My brown eyes have never been so blurry with salty tears before. I called my best friend, to try and get my mind off things, but the thoughts of the breaks, my car ruined, my head pounding and my body in aches; I just couldn't stop crying.

The following days could not have been worse. I just laid on the sofa, with my dogs, dead. I had never been in such an accident.

I have learned a lot from this accident though. Not only do I love insurance companies, but I hate them. Not only do I love my parents, but I have realized that no matter how far away they are (they were in Arizona when my accident occured), they will be there for you no matter what. Even if it means the phone bill will be a little higher than last months. I have learned how lucky I am to be alive and to only have muscle spasms and a sprain in my spinal cord. I have learned that you don't always get second chances, so make sure when you get the first to use it and cherish it. I have learned how hard it is to catch up on school work; and that actually makes me miss highschool, who would have thought that? Hopefully through my experience, I hope no one has to go through what I did. I wouldn't even think to put my worst enemy through that.

So be thankful for the life you have now, no matter what is going on in it, someone is always going to be better off and someone is always going to be worse off. Thank God that you're in the middle.

Friday, March 10, 2006

She lies there
On her bed
Wishing he was there
Wishing she no longer felt dead

She gives and loves
Him all the time
But why can’t he answer
The questions that run through her mind?

She longs for his touch
For his sweet embrace
Tears flow from her eyes
Remembering how he kissed her face

All she can think about
Is how perfect she thought it would be
But what she didn’t know
Is what she couldn’t see

She didn’t see how he was with other girls
She didn’t see through his lies
All she saw and felt inside
Was how he gave her soft sex sighs

She feels like she’s lost him
When he doesn’t remember to call
She sits there, with the lights dim
She feels her soul, crash and fall

Some people don’t see though
How much he does care
They just give her grief
With this, she can no longer bear

So she keeps her feelings inside
No longer expressing them with love
She is no longer free
She is no longer the sweet white dove

She doesn’t smile
His digits, no longer on the dial
She waits for someone else
To come and pick up his pile

Thursday, March 09, 2006


I’m shaking
And wondering why
I feel as if I’ve lost the love
It’s like it’s passed me by

Maybe it’s just me
And I’m being stupid
Is this how it’s supposed to be
Or do I just not see?

What if it’s real?
Or maybe it’s fake
I saw him the other night
It’s like I saw the light

He stood there
And I felt like I missed him
But if I go back
It’s like I’ve committed another sin

I’ve done it before
To these two boys
And I can’t picture doing it again
I can’t treat them like little toys

I feel like shit
For hurting him the way I did
It was a rebound I guess
It’s the fact that I failed another love test

I could go on and on
About how they both make me weak
About how good they both are to me
How they both make my heart tweak

God damnit
Why am I doing this to myself again?
I always treat my heart
As if it’s something to lend

I feel empty inside
All I can wonder is why
I feel that I have to abide
To every single lie

That you tell me
Or to the ones I make
Love has always had a fee
But I didn’t know it would always be so damn fake to me

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A few paragraphs from my German Drama Class Assignment:

I really enjoyed this play. It showed the weaknesses and struggles that the weavers had to suffer daily, but it also showed their strengths as they kept with it, even when they basically knew there would be no dramatic change in the end for themselves or their families. It showed their weakness, yet proved their determination, hope and fight that resided in them.
So be thankful that we get to struggle through our school work and get to deal with the stresses of our social lives, because back then, there were no such worries because the weavers’ lives revolved around their work. Be thankful that you have old clothes from your older brother or sister, but never forget the fact that you have a beautiful coat that no one else has hidden in the back of your closet.
From this play and from our society today, I have learned that we need others. We cannot do anything and everything on our own and we cannot be expected to by others either. The weavers were there for each other as much as they possibly could have been. Though sometimes, they failed, and did not have much to live for, there was still a spark of faith in them that kept them going and that made them stick with their pathetic, nearly worthless lives and work ethics. It made me realize how we have it made today. For the most part, we, as college students here at Randolph-Macon College, do not have to worry about if we will have enough clothes to get us through the week, or if we will starve by Wednesday or not. We do not have to worry, at least as nearly as much as the weavers had to, of our jobs or going bankrupt if we do not get a certain payment in by the end of the month. Be glad that you are who you are and you have what you have, because one day, it may not be that way.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Thus far this semester, in my British Literature class, I have been reading multiple plays, which are similar, but different, in ways people are viewed in society, and if they are symbolic in any way. Most interesting to me, is the way women have developed through our society, and what they used to and now recently symbolize.
In one text, a woman symbolized sneakyness, trickery, and lies. For example: a married woman had a plan with her husband, to test a another man's loyalty. This woman was married to the king, and he wanted to know, if this knight, would remain honest to him and his duties. So, the king used his wife to seduce the knight. The knight took everything until the last kiss and he fell for her lust, but not to the point where he dishonored his king. Anyways, through all this, the woman is seen as an object, used to merely deceive others. The worst part about it is that she has to do this, in any way she can, and she's married. The husband even is in on the whole deal! Maybe it was just the "way it was" back then, but if that ever was to happen in my life today, I don't know if I could handle it!

Another example: Women were seen as merely, "slaves in their own house." A woman was merely seen to clean, cook, take care of the children, etc. Her husband took advantage of her "obedience" to him, or even to society as a whole.

I guess what I'm trying to get at by writing this, is how proud I am of the developments through society, and also, with the women in our world today. Woman are now, unfortunately, still by a few, seen as objects, but have come such a long way, that it outrules that vision. Women are now involved in strong governmental issues, they own their own companies, they have their own shops, and still, are true to their hearts and families which surround them. I could not be more aware of my progress in society, and the mere fact that women have come so far in society, makes me more proud of who I am and how far I have come.

Monday, March 06, 2006

did you know that my nick name was "spring head" when i was littl bc of my curls, that my favorite color is blue, that my ideal vacation would be laying on the beach in my bathing suit, covered in sand and salt water. that my first beer was a corona, that i have a dog with one eye and he's one of the best hunters his trainer has ever seen..did you know that no matter how hard i try, i still fail, that for the past, nearly 11 years i've been playing field hockey and still struggle, that i busted my two front teeth on the outside deck of my old house, that i flipped our gator down by our pond, that i still have gravel in my elbow? I bet you didn't know that yes, i still have retainers i wear at night time to keep the pearlies straight? What about this, did you know that I can promise you, that I have gone through at least one thing that you have. I bet I have the same interests as you do, or listen to the same music, or may even have a favorite song or movie in mind? Did you know that I've been dying to go home for the past month, but can't because of prior priorities. Oh, here's a good one. I bet you didn't know that I can see right through your lies and tears, and dig deep into your soul, finding out what has been eating you up inside, without you even realizing it. I bet you didn't know that I am one of the best confidants you will ever meet, and one of the biggest competitors you will go against. I bet you didn't know that deep down inside i'm a huge hippie, or that i've had 4 cell phones in the past year probably.

I guess what I am trying to say is get to know the people around you, get to really know them, because one day, they could be the best thing in your life, the other your worst enemy. But it's one more person you will meet in life and learn something from him or her. It's one more person that may change your life or views on life. It's one more person who will make you cry or dry your tears, who will push you to the very last moment you can take it, and then break down right next to you for the same reasons. You never know, your worst enemy, your biggest annoyance could end up being your best friend. Give 'em a chance, let 'em be who they are and be yourself at the same time. Just breathe and live it.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Tomorrow is going to be a new day. Lay your head down tonight knowing that you did all you could to make your sad friend smile, that you tried your best to finish your work, but your mind trailed off on other factors in your life, leaving you a blank sheet of paper instead of that four page essay you were hoping for. Let yourself be at ease with your flaws and your heart full of love for yourself and others. Look back on the weekend realizing you should not have gone out because you were sick, but did anyways because you wanted to. Live this life your way, not by anyone elses'. Let yourself be free and wild, enjoy it while you can because it doesn't last forever. Love with all you have, forgive with all you can and close your eyes praying for another day in paradise. Know that your true friends will be there for you when no one else is, that they will pull you out of a funk and wipe your eyes, either laughing at you, with you, or crying with you. It is that very moment, when you realize you wouldn't be who you are without any of them, that you have lived. It is that moment that when you cannot stop the butterflies, or you can't find youself letting go of his hand even though you'll see him in five minutes, that you feel complete. So put your worries aside, live a little. Be loud when everyone else is quiet. Be hyper when everyone else is fast asleep. Be studious when everyone else is out. Be yourself.

"Make it loud. Make it break decibel records. Make it a sonic boom. Make it a big deal. Make it real. Make it a song. make it amovement. Make it so huge that it swallows up the whole scene. Make it blow the doors off. Make it make your idols scratch their heads. Make it a reason to get up in the morning. Make it rattle off the walls and make it an echo you'll remember for your whole life."

"To be yourself, is all that you can do."

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Tell Me Why Sometimes

Tell me why sometimes
That I just sit by myself and cry
Tell me why sometimes
I feel as if I want to die

Tell me why sometimes
I feel empty inside
Tell me why sometimes
Your rules I must abide

Tell me why sometimes
The sweetest song is sad
Tell me why sometimes
I feel as if your love is bad

Tell me why sometimes
I can’t get you off my mind
Tell me why sometimes
My eyes get so blind

Tell me why sometimes
I sit shaking
Tell me why sometimes
Lies are the only thing I like making

Tell me why sometimes
I think nasty things
Tell me why sometimes
My heart stops beating and only hangs

Tell me why sometimes
I keep typing and thinking
Tell me why sometimes
My soul keeps sinking

Tell me why sometimes
All I want to do is sleep
Tell me why sometimes
Your hearts the one I want to keep

Tell me why sometimes
That I finish at the end of the page
Tell me why sometimes
You make me full of rage…
What is it about the world today, where we feel as though we have to be somebody besides ourself to fit in? What is it that makes us die to be accepted in the world today? Not as ourselves, but just someone who we know, will really be accepted. There comes a time in someone's life where it's either all or nothing. At 19 years old, I feel as though I've already reached that point, is that bad? I don't think so because I'm finally starting to realize things. After a few struggles here and there with my own identity, I'm finally starting to realize who I am as an individual and what I stand for. I'm Michelle Doeller. I have brown hair, brown eyes. I'm in tip top shape because I'm obsessed with working out. I am a sophomore. I love field hockey, even though I bitch about it more than I play. I forget important things, but remember the stupid things. I love beer. I am completely inlove with all of my friends! My family is the best thing in the entire world and I am not afraid to hold my mom's hand in public or give my dad a hug goodbye infront of people. I smile, and I love laughing. My friends say those are two of my best qualities. haha! I am a tomboy, but can be a lady when I must. My favorite jeans are torn to shreds with holes everywhere and yes I still wear them. I am more my father's child than my mothers'. I love beer and almost every kind of food. I use jergens moisturizing lotion and I never brush my hair. I am a hippie and a prep. My weakness is love and sweets. Two of which I have never been able to get a grip over. Love because I think it's more powerful than I am. Sweets because they're just so good and who doesn't want them?? I have a pair of flip flops that are ductaped together and they are my favorite flip flops I have EVER owned. I am an english major and feel as though I am the worst writer in the world. I cry. I am sick and tired. I have regrets and wishes, I have made mistakes. I love any music and my room is covered with pictures to remind me of all the best times of my life with the best people in my life. My sister is my best friend in the entire world and EVERYONE knows that. I like guys clothes more than my own. I have a four-runner with one tale light. I have three dogs and a pond with a dock at the bottom of my driveway; that's where we play:)

But after all of this, who am I? Who are you? Why are you here? What are YOU going to do with your life? Are you scared? Are you nervous? Do you worry about the "what ifs?" in life? If you do, don't worry about it. You are young and have other times to worry about things. Love your life and love who you are. You are who you are for a reason. Embrace every last thing about it!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Style: Lesson 3

Not only did Williams make this chapter interesting to read, but it was easy to understand because he incorporated multiple lessons for his readers to do which enables us to learn his material quicker and more efficiently. He told simple stories of how by following these simple rules which he suggested, one will become a more affective and understandable writer. He mentions how the switching of words from an action verb to a noun can influence the sentence of one's paragraph.
Another topic which he hit a home-run with, at least in my case, is for the writer to clearly understand what point or story s/he is trying to get across to ones reader before s/he writes it. Though we as the writers, my understand what we are putting down on paper, it is just as important that we have our readers comprehend it, the same way we do while we are writing it. That way, there is a clear, distinctive relationship between the writer and the reader.
One thing that I have never heard of or even thought of doing is to underline the first 7 or 8 words of the sentence and if by then it doesn't make sense or seems dense to you as the reader, or more importantly, if you do not see "in those words a character as a subject and a verb as a specific action, then there is need for revision. Turning nominalizations into verbs is also a very handy trick. By doing this, I feel as though the paper, or even the mere sentence structure sounds more developed and more precise.
Concluding, he sums up Lesson 3 by stating the importance of flexibility. It is important, but it also keeps the reader awake and interested in what they are reading. I feel like it almost adds flavor and intensity. If the reader doesn't know what is coming next (that also has to do with the story or what exactly one is writing), then the reader continues to read, dying to know what the rest of the story has in store for them.
Today was gorgeous. I really enjoyed it because the sun was out and that makes me smile. During my afternoon off, spent most of the time in the library unfortunately because I have so much work to do. *cough* *cough* But after I got that done, I went outside and watched the tennis match. Then played some horseshoes with some friends of mine.
Not only does such a day make me in a better mood, but it reminds me of home.

The fresh cut grass and the flowers just starting to bloom, just makes Ashland look healthier and more full of life and love. This scene sets my mind at ease. I feel that I do not have to wake up and see shades of grey or darkness. Well I did this morning because I had field hockey practice at 7 a.m this morning, so it was still a little hazy out, BUT then the day turned and ended up being extremely enjoyable. After horsehoes, I went for a run with one of my friends; of course, outside. Afterwards, I went to the gym and taught a friend of mine how to properly lift weights. That was amusing. Then I got really excited when she said she wanted to learn how to play field hockey. So we went outside and I showed her some sweet moves. She picked up quick and that made me happy because I love the sport and I may have even passed it onto another.

Being outside just opens your mind and puts your stresses away. But it is also bad because with Spring just around the corner, it adds to your distractions which you have already. Of course, who would want to be stuck in a classroom, in an uncomfortable chair, listening to a boring teacher lecture for an hour or two, when you could be down by the river, enjoying yourself and the company of your friends. It also makes me miss home even more. Makes me miss playing with my dogs outside and taking them to our pond down below our driveway. I absolutely adore watching them jump off our dock and just swim.

Finishing this up, I have thoroughly enjoyed today and hope that there are more of these beautiful days to come! Go out, get some fresh air and as the nurse says, open your windows and air that winter out of your rooms!